I'm not even going to bother with poles, line and hooks anymore -- in fact, I may just try sitting still tied at the dock with a beer in-hand and see if the fish still jump into the boat courtesy of Ishmael.  After all, fuel costs money, you know.... -- Ed

In the first part of this series, I stated that every adult’s first responsibility is removing toxic people and situations from their lives.

Obviously 100% removal isn’t possible, and it’s even harder in clown world.  The only surefire way to avoid the abuse is to check out, either temporarily or permanently.  Over the past three years, we had a national tragedy of “deaths of despair.” A few people decided death was a better alternative to lockdowns.  One college student killed himself and wasn’t discovered right away.  Some people used substances to check out temporarily but spiraled into suicide through drink or drugs.  

Fuck you screamers who begged for this outcome with vaccine mandates.  Own the death count. Ironically, those who rolled a 1 when they took the clot shot are immune.  Thank a fresh gravestone for ushering in the world you wanted!

If a few slimeballs came to mind reading that, it might make understanding today’s missive easier.

Today’s guest Ticker offers advice on how to identify manipulators.  Acknowledging an intolerable situation is the first step to improve it.  Pinpointing exactly why is the second step. This also helps avoid similar traps in the future. Some won’t feel comfortable extricating themselves until they feel justified in doing so.

Sometimes when situations cause uneasiness for nebulous reasons, it’s because one person is maliciously manipulating another. Manipulators never act in good faith and the best thing for the target is to end or minimize the relationship as soon as possible.

What I’m describing isn’t a one-off behavior.   A few nasty comments do not a toxic person make, but repeated instances do.  This is a pervasive pattern that touches all of a person’s social interactions.  They act like this with everyone. It may take a while to notice the pattern, but it is unmistakable. 

Manipulation is defined as a person working on another instead of cooperatively with them.  In doing so, the manipulator turns them into a target.  Malignant manipulators view people as objects to be moved.  It never occurs to them that they are human beings with feelings, thoughts, and wants of their own. Treating others the same way as a toaster, a tool for a task, is not the only nasty legacy. Using others to give them feelings is worse.

Here’s one tip if you are caught in their web.  This is especially poignant for family members.  Nothing will ever be enough to fill the endless void inside them. We are our own inescapable constant companion. Empty people can't be saved from themselves.

There are five tactics that manipulators commonly use.  It’s good to learn about them when you are calm because they are harder to identify in the moment.  Some of these will sound familiar.  The stars of today’s story are Toxic Tammy and Toxic Tad.  Everyone has at least one of these characters in their lives.

The underlying assumption is the target is a bad person for making Tammy or Tad feel bad.

All of these tactics are used to shut down conversations and cooperation.  In this way toxic people never accept responsibility for their lives and foist it on others.

Using Emotional Language takes control of the conversation by choosing words designed to make the target believe disagreeing with Tammy makes them a bad person.  Tammy weaponizes her feelings by throwing a tantrum to shut down conversation.  A hint this tactic is in play is when the target is causing “trauma” or “retraumatizing” Tammy for speaking. 

Another example is, “I am no longer safe…” Followed by some unreasonable demand. There is a big difference between this and, “I don’t feel safe.”  The former implies that if the target doesn’t capitulate immediately, Tammy is in actual danger.  The latter invites further inquiry as to the source of fear.  

Tad uses emotional language when he tells his boss, “I am no longer safe at work.  Jeremy told a homophobic joke, you must fire him.”

During the coof wars we heard lots of examples:

“If you won’t wear a mask, you want to kill grandma!”

“We are all in this together.”

“Right now some unvaccinated person is stealing care away from my sick child!”

Countering emotional language: Ask questions.  An honest person will relish the opportunity to explain her point of view.  Tammy will explode and expose herself for the manipulator she is.

“What makes you feel unsafe?” Phrase it this way to acknowledge it’s a feeling, not a fact.

“Which unvaccinated person is stealing care from your child?  What about all the smokers with heart attacks?”

Coerced Soothing

Who doesn’t want to comfort somebody in pain?  That’s the crux of this technique.  Tammy screams at Sue, telling her she’s worthless.  As soon as Sue tells Tammy to cut it out, Tammy starts sobbing uncontrollably.  She has completely derailed the conversation by forcing Sue to give Tammy the feelings she wants.  When somebody forces another to apologize that is coerced soothing. Boys who grow up with mothers like Tammy often stick their dick in crazy later.

Counter to coerced soothing:  Refuse to do it.  Walk away, and take any kids with you.  Tammy isn’t in any more distress than she normally is.

Emotional Threats

When Tad can’t force his target to give him sympathy, he goes for threats instead.  Whatever words Tad uses, they all boil down to, “if you do/don’t do this, I’ll do this.”  He attempts to make his feelings and actions somebody else’s responsibility.

“If you leave me, I’ll…” Is something everybody with a crazy ex has heard at least once.

“We’ll have to stay locked down until enough people get the clot shots.”

Counter to emotional threats: Same as above, run away.

Triangulation

What’s worse than arguing with one person?  Arguing with more.  If coerced soothing and emotional threats don’t work, manipulators bring other people.  Keep in mind the “reinforcements” may not really exist.  

Tammy approaches you about a dinner party. “I’ve talked to everybody and nobody likes Bob.  You should un-invite him.  If he’s there, I’m afraid other people won’t come.”  Don’t bother asking who these other people are, Tammy hasn’t talked to anyone.  She’s implying that if you don’t do what she wants, you’ll lose her friendship along with a bunch of other people. 

The Covid cultists perfected this technique with their appeals to authority.  Remember how every expert said we had to wear tard rags or we would die in the street?  How about the FDA’s tweet reminding us we were not horses?  How many would-be purebloods fell for the lie that they were the only hold out due to triangulation? Another clown world example is every mainstream media running the same stories, also called reprogramming the NPCs.

Counter to triangulation:  Good riddance to that bitch Tammy, she isn’t worth having as a friend.  

Weaponized Incompetence

“The speed limit isn’t 55 here?”  Also known as feigning ignorance, this technique comes out when Tad is caught deliberately violating rules. He is attempting to get out of consequences.  Think of all the people who have lied before Congress.

Counter to weaponized incompetence: Point to the rules. Not that America is a country of laws anymore, but Congress could do something if they chose.

If you ever wonder if someone is manipulating you or not, ask lots and lots of questions.  Manipulators hate them and will explode instead of providing context for their concerns.

All of us need a reliable tribe against clown world.  It’s up to you to remove manipulators so they can’t stab you in the back later.