Shamelessly lifted and modified from here...

Party Platform For 2012

If you elect me the following would be my platform....

• There will be no more food "cards".  There will be old-fashioned food stamps.  They'll come in a booklet, just like they used to, and they'll have your name printed on them.  That is, they're not transferable.  They're also only good for basic staples such as rice, beans, select or utility grade meats, fruits and vegetables, milk and block cheese.  No steak, no frozen pizzas, no Ho-Hos, no "ready to eat" anything, no high-grade meats or fish nor things such as cake mixes and chocolates.  If you want to eat steak, lobster, frozen "heat and eats" or munch on a Snickers bar, get a job.
  
  
• If you're on Medicaid and are female you may have Norplant implanted or a tubal.  In addition all recipients will be tested regularly and on any demand for service at a place such as a hospital for alcohol, drugs and tobacco.  If you wish to reproduce or use mind-altering substances and those that addict you, get a job.
  
  
• Section 8?  Cool.  Ever been to a military barracks?  Our taxpayer property will be maintained in a clean and good state of repair by you.  It will be subject to inspection and inventory at our whim and we expect your furnishings and accessories to be utilitarian in keeping with the intent - a clean and safe place to sleep, shower, **** and shave.  If you want a bigscreen TV, Xbos or similar examples of conspicuous consumption you can afford your own place and should go get a job - and your own place.
  
  
• All handouts are conditioned on either presenting a paycheck every week or you may report to a government work project.  We have lots of work that needs to be done.  Our roads need trash picked up, bridges and schools need painting and similar tasks can be done.  We have a severe budget problem both federally and at a state level and besides we should have hands up, not handOUTs.  Further, if you show up to work with your ghetto-style low-profile $3,000 rims and tires blasting your $2,000 stereo all of the above will be sold to defray your allegedly-necessary welfare assistance.
  
  
• Voting is a clear conflict of interest while receiving handouts.  Therefore you will voluntarily cancel your voter registration while on public assistance of any sort.

Before anyone claims that all this is a violation of someone's rights, please be aware that accepting all of these handouts are in fact a choice.  That is, they're voluntary, as is the assistance.  You have no right to the assistance, therefore the persons paying for it (that's those of us paying taxes instead of consuming the services) have a right to set the conditions.

More to the point, if these conditions "ruin your self-esteem" that's so the better.  After all, negative feedback as a consequence for poor choices is one of the best ways to modify behavior.  That which is rewarded inevitably is replicated and encouraged; these steps should provide some discouragement and tilt the scales toward going out and finding a job or starting a business, rendering reliance on the public teat a "last resort" instead of the "first and best resort."

The above, all alone, would cut "government welfare" (in all its forms) by at least 50% - and probably 75% or more - all through voluntary attrition of the rolls.

If there are three people in the nation who would vote for me on such a platform I'll tell you how I'd deal with Social Security and Medicare - they're next.